Awesome One! Dependency on somebody- no matter what kind: physical, psychological, or financial- is a negative thing to do.
Although relationships are an integral part of life but you need to remain aware of one very important thing which is…
Never become so dependent on somebody that if he or she leaves you tommorow, you feel devastated or incomplete.
Dependency binds you in a chain. On one side of the chain is “You” and on the other side is “that somebody”.
Now, you are not the only controller of your life, that somebody is also controlling your life.
I know some people who are so dependent on others for their work that before doing anything work-related, these people have to get time from those other people.
So, these people are dependent on others for their work, and hence, have no freedom regarding doing their work whenever they want to.
Remember, there are some things related to work for which you have to get time from someone else – especially if you know nothing about it- but there are many small things which you can learn and do by yourself.
Let me give you another example:
I get lots of messages where people ask me, “My boyfriend has done a breakup with me and now I’m depressed”
This is a classic example of a psychological and/ or physical dependence.
People feel devastated after a breakup because they become dependent on their partner- psychologically or maybe physically, in a form of Sex.
Nowadays, people are becoming dependent on too many people for many aspects of their life and by doing so, they are just setting a trap for themselves which will affect their life in a negative way in the future.
Before I tell you the solution to this problem, let me explain to you…
How Dependency cause Depression
When you become dependent on somebody such as a friend/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ relative/ family member, then this dependency will end someday- in the future- as Change is a Rule of life.
When this dependency will end, you will feel negative feelings such as sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, and worthlessness.
If you don’t face this situation in a positive way and don’t move on in your lesson with a lesson that…
“I will not become fully dependent on anybody in the future and I will take action and put efforts to make myself fully independent” then you can push yourself into a dependency negativity loop.
Here is a figure:
The above figure clearly shows “How dependency on others can take you to depression?”
The person on which you are dependent breaks the dependency and due to that, negative feelings and thoughts are created inside your mind.
If you don’t face this situation in a positive way, then you can get into a negativity loop of negative thoughts, feelings, actions and physical reactions.
Once you spend 10-30 days with this negativity loop without solving your problems, you can go in depression.
Don’t be dependent on anyone in this world as even your shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.
The solution here is very simple: Don’t be fully dependent on anybody- financially, psychologically, and physically.
The solution is simple but its implementation is hard and that’s the reason, many people never become independent.
Remember, to achieve anything worthy, you have to put effort. Dependency life will not come easily.
If you are dependent on your family/ friend/ husband/ relative for money then create a source of income and make yourself financially independent.
To free yourself from the emotional and psychological dependency on your family/ friends/ spouse/ relative, start spending more and more time with yourself.
Talk to yourself, read some good books, travel solo, self-reflect, and spend more time with yourself so that you can know yourself in a better way.
Go to a mall, restaurant, theatre, or park alone. You don’t need a person to go to these places.
If you want to go to an amusement park or to some other place and your friend/ spouse/ family is not ready to go then go by yourself.
Give yourself a treat when you achieve something. Congratulate yourself when you crush your goals.
Do what you want to do and stop looking for approval from others.
Become your own best friend and be your own critic and admirer. If someone is not showing you love, show love to yourself.
When you understand yourself and you don’t need anybody’s support to be happy in life, you become emotionally and psychologically independent.
So, make yourself independent, so that you feel the freedom that “No Dependency” gives you.
My Story with Dependency
Dependency on others is one of the major reasons behind my third depression.
I used to be dependent on my family, friends, cigarettes, masturbation, and drugs.
In this article, I will tell you “How I triumph over my dependency on family and friends”.
I will mention my fight with other dependencies or addictions in another article based on “How dependency or addiction to something cause you depression?”
To free myself from the financial dependency on my parents, I work hard after college to create a source of income for myself.
As I was more inclined towards business than a job and psychology than engineering, I took a road less taken and not participated in college placements.
I put down too many efforts to learn and built an online business around my passion and after 2 years of hard work and perseverance, I have created a source of income for myself.
Now, I’m financially dependent on nobody.
Since my school days, I was emotionally and psychologically dependent on family and friends.
I used to go nowhere alone and feel anxiety when remain alone for a long period of time.
Then depression enters my life and during this phase, I learn “How to live happily alone?”
I solo traveled to lots of places- especially Himachal Pradesh- and spend weeks- all by myself. I created some life goals and give my time to achieve them.
Writing, reading, watching positive content, running, meditating, and working on hobbies become a part of my daily routine.
I start spending more and more time with myself and start going to places where I want to go whether someone else is ready to go or not.
Initially, it was really hard and fearful for me to travel all alone but solo traveling really helped me a lot in understanding myself to a much deeper level.
Today, I’m not psychologically dependent on anybody. I can spend a whole month without talking with anyone.
While some people say, it is anti-social. For me, it is not.
As I have told you earlier, Relationships are important part of life and you should become a social person and do some social activities but…
You don’t need to become so dependent on somebody that if he or she leaves you tomorrow, you feel devastated or incomplete.
Do Dependency has a Evolutionary aspect?
Dependency on others has its evolutionary aspect too and that’s the reason people become dependent on others without even knowing it and…
When that dependency breaks, they feel depressed without even knowing that the thing which is responsible for their depressed mood is their own dependency.
So guys! Be completely aware of yourself, so that you don’t become fully dependent on anybody.
Lesson for you
Never become dependent on any person- in the first place- and if you are dependent on someone- psychologically, physically, emotionally, or financially- then start freeing yourself from all these dependencies.
Live a No Dependency Life, Free Life.