I have spend close to 3 and Half Years of my life in Depression.
Those Years are the most Negative Years of my Life.
My Time with Depression is Rough.
I even felt Suicidal Sometimes which is one of the Symptoms of Depression.
I have never heard the world “Depression” before getting into it and…
During my initial Time with Depression, I even don’t know what kind of mental Problem I’m Facing due to the Lack of Depression Awareness in my School and College.
So, I do some of my own research on the Internet and found out that “I’m in Depression” and thereafter started my Fight to Get out of my it.
Well, My Complete Story with Depression is a Matter of Another Article, which I will write pretty soon.
In this Article, I will Tell you about 15 Life Lessons that I have Learned by facing and defeating Depression.
May be if I had never gone through depression, I would never learn these life lessons or may be I would.
I don’t know but one thing I am sure about is that I learned these lessons in a hard way and I don’t want any of you to learn these lessons by facing depression or any other mental health problem.
So Lets Start
Life is Precious
Before getting into Depression, I love my life a lot but still, I don’t value it the way I should.
So, when I go through Depression and saw the Negative aspects of life, I understand that My Human Life is so damn Precious and I should be gracious to this Universe for Giving me this life.
There is 1 in 400 Trillion Chance of being born as a Human Being.
You are that Fortuitous, and you shouldn’t waste your life in mediocrity.
What I have Learned is that Human Life is your Chance to do something incredible and if you waste it, then no one is responsible for it, only you are.
Human life is very very very hard to get, so value it and do something with the body and mind that nature has given you.
Positivity is Priceless
Before getting into depression, I had barely knew anything about the Power of Positivity.
But During my fight with Depression, I Discovered that to Defeat Depression, only One thing is Needed which is…
Positive Habits, Positive Thoughts, Positive Energy, Positive Vibes, Positive Environment, Positive Actions, etc., are the powers of Positivity which you can use to Transform your Life Completely.
If Depression is the Big Monster of Negativity then to defeat him, you need to use the Power of Positivity.
After defeating Depression, I made myself a Promise that I will educate people about the power of Positivity.
So, I came up with the name “Positive Kunal”, and Dedicated my life to spread the awareness about depression and the power of Positivity all around the World.
Remember, people around you can spread their negativity, but it is you who is consuming it.
Therefore, Start living a positive life and keep converting negative to positive.
Live Life to the Fullest, and always Focus on the positive – Matt Cameron
Your Parents are your God
I knew some people, who can spend lots of money to make their gf/bf happy but they have no time for their Parents.
Time with Depression taught me that I need to go nowhere to find a God, it is in my Home in the form of my Parents.
My Father and Mother are the ones, who love me unconditionally and I don’t need any girlfriend to find a True love.
Before Facing Depression, I don’t appreciate my parents that much but Now I appreciate them whenever I can.
I give a tight hug to my parents and appreciate them for all the struggles and compromises they have done for me.
Now I join them in family Trips instead of giving preference to solo or group Travel.
I do things which makes them happy instead of only taking actions required for my happiness.
Remember one thing for life, No one gives a Single shit about you, except your Parents so appreciate them until they are alive.
Only your parents can Give you unconditional love, Never Forget That.
Your Mother is With you and You are looking for Love elsewhere – Rapper Divine
If your reason of depression is loss of a loved one, then you can check this article.
Expect Nothing From Anyone
Expectations are dangerous but I don’t truly knew its true negativity, until it became the reason behind my 3rd Depression.
What i have learned is that “Expectation is a negative Habit” and you should get rid of it.
To live a positive life, you have to expect nothing from yourself and from anybody else.
Always Remember, Expectations Bind you and No Expectations Free you.
Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much.
Careless and Live More
This is a Hard Truth and many people don’t accept this truth of Life.
Don’t care about people judgements and ignore destructive criticism.
During my suicide attempts, I asked myself a Question, ” If I commit suicide, who would be affected by it.”
I think about it for quite a time. I look into every person i knew: My parents, Relatives, Friends, and Girlfriend.
After much Rumination, Only 3 names came into my mind whose life would truly be affected by my death. These 3 people are…
My Mother, Father, and Brother.
This Realization shocked me, It came like an epiphany and it made me feel more Negative but then I realize a positive side of it…
“I will not give a single fuck about what people think about me.”
I will not care if someone makes fun of me, criticize me, or try to make me feel bad.
This single Realization has changed my life and Today, I don’t give a single fuck about other people judgements.
I just do what I want to. Let people talk.
Also, You could have some Really good Real Friends but even they are busy in their life.
They will mourn over your death for 1, or 2 days but after that, they will also move on and get busy in their own life.
Another Resource which helped me in learning this truth of life is Bhagwat Geeta which I bought from a Railway station where I had gone to Commit Suicide.
I strongly Recommend you to Buy this Book and Read it, at least 2 Times.
Here are the links you can use to Buy This Book
You have to Know Yourself
If you know yourself, then you’ll never be harmed by what is said about you
People today are busy in finding information about others.
Some people spend their whole day on social media to find out what other people or Celebrities are Doing.
What they are wearing, what they are buying, what they are saying, and so on but…
Very Small percentage of people spend time in knowing oneself and let me tell you one thing;
Without Discovering, nurturing and Finding yourself, you will never get to know, who you truly are.
You would become what this Society want you to become without discovering about “Who you Truly are?”.
Depression Time taught me to spend more time with yourself, talk to yourself, travel solo, work on yourself, and invest in your Growth.
I talk with myself a lot and people call me crazy for doing that, but as I said, I don’t give a single damn about what people think about me.
Swami Vivekananda quotes,”Talk to yourself once in a day…otherwise you may miss meeting an excellent person in this world”
Short Story from my life
This practice of knowing yourself, lead me to take a big decision during my College final year placement time.
I knew that coding is not for me, I’m a type of psychological guy. So, I decided to make a living out of it and start a online business.
I tell this to my friends and everybody told me that, “Get a job first and then think about passion”
But I don’t buy that thought , Lots of companies do their job placement drive, and almost 99 percent Computer Science students get placed.
So, college ended in 2016 and I go back to my home- unplaced.
My Classmates are working, doing MBA, going to America for an MS Degree and here I am, unemployed and taking a road less traveled.
My parents tell me that you have made the biggest mistake of your life by not getting a college placement.
But I know Myself, I know who I am and what I want from my life.
I just don’t want to spend my life in a 9-5 job, so I take the online way.
Fast Forward to 2019, and today after facing too many failures, I’m making my way to a profitable online business but money doesn’t matter here.
What matters is that” I don’t have to force myself to do my work,” I do my work as i like it, and let me tell you one another thing…
Most people on this planet don’t like their work, every day they force themselves to do their job because they don’t know themselves and as a result, don’t know what they truly want to do with their life.
Nature is The Creator
I have traveled solo before going into depression but it is the time during depression, where I discovered its Benefits such as…
Helpful in Defeating Depression, helpful in knowing yourself, in opening your perspective, etc.
During my Depression time in College, I had traveled to a remote village in the Magical Mountains of Himachal Pradesh and lived there for 2 weeks with minimum amenities.
Village Life is simple and I used to spend most of my time with myself, sitting on the mountains and gazing at nature all around me.
Those Mountains astonished me and I ask myself a question, “How can be something so magical as nature can be so calm?”
Not many answers came into my mind but then I thought, “I’m also a child of this nature, This Nature has Created me”
I bear the blessings, that Nature has given me before coming on this planet.
I realize that all I need to defeat Depression is within myself, I need to go nowhere.
Only thing I have to do, is to change my thought patterns and take required actions, which bring me to my Next Life Lesson.
Positive Action is your Best Friend
Only by Thinking, Wishing, Promising, or By taking an oath, nothing happens.
You have to take required actions to achieve, what you are Thinking or Wishing.
But let me tell you one another truth, many people don’t take action.
These people have many goals to achieve in their mind but they never take action to make it a Reality.
Even if they do take action, they give up too soon.
This is not the way life works. Rule of life is Simple
If you want to achieve your goals, you have to go through the struggle of achieving it.
It is easy to say that I want to defeat depression ( It takes 1 Second) but…
To Defeat Him, you have to take Required actions for at least 30 day with Consistency and Patience.
So, If you want to crush your goals, then do the hard work, take required action- no matter how hard it is- and you will achieve your Goal sooner or later.
Also, let me clear out a difference between positive action and a negative action.
The difference is pretty simple, something which produces a positive result is a positive action and something which produces a negative circumstance is a negative action.
Words may inspire you but only action creates change. Choice Is yours.
One Life, One Chance
This Human life is your chance to do something Legendary. You have so many options in front of you to explore.
You can reach a higher level of consciousness in your human life, you have the most advanced superpower with you, named Human Mind.
Your Body can do things which nobody can do.
You are a marvelous Creation of this Universe. So, don’t waste this chance. It is Rarely Given.
Remember, after your death, nothing is guaranteed.
So, find out what you want to do with your life and give it your soul, heart, body, and mind.
Have some Goals in Life
This is a very crucial lesson that I have learned during depression.
I set a goal of defeating depression and then make sub-goals, I need to achieve to reach that goal.
This way I create a big Goal chart on which Defeating Depression is the Top level goal, Sub-goals of this goal comes on the second level.
Subgoals of Second level goals come on the third level and this chain keeps on expanding until I reach the goal which I have to implement to initiate this chain and take me to the top level goal of Defeating Depression.
A person who don’t have goals to achieve in life, is just passing the life in a desultory way.
So, everyday start a habit of writing a journal. Evaluate your 24-hrs everyday.
Each day is a new Opportunity for you, which some people waste and some people make use of.
Average human lives for 70 years, so make use of these days, because once day passes, it goes forever.
You Never get the past time back. All you got is a Present time.
Also, here I am talking about life goals not relationship goals.
I know many people who have lots of relationship goals but no life goals and in India, I think Bollywood is somewhat responsible for this trend as more than 95 percent Bollywood movies revolve around only one theme: Love.
People think that only goals they have to achieve in life are getting a job and finding a life partner which is the bullshit of Society coded in their mind.
So, positive people, have some big life goals because one life, one chance.
Depend on Nobody
Never be dependent on anyone in this world because even your shadows leave you when you are in darkness
People want attention, they always need some kind of Support but they forget that the only person who is gonna be with him until his/her death is, He himself.
You can only depend on yourself.
When you become dependent on somebody or something, you chain yourself with it.
When this Chain strengthens itself, you are not the only controller of your life, that something or somebody also is.
You become a bonded labor, who is a puppet of that person or a thing, on the other side of a chain.
So, learn how to become independent psychologically, and financially and take required actions.
Don’t become depend on Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Wife, Husband, Parents, Relatives, Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, medication, Friends, etc.
Depend on nobody but yourself.
Today, I take care of all of my business aspects by myself. I don’t need to delay things because of somebody.
Your Present is your Gift
Learn from past mistakes, implement them in present, and create your Future
You have no control over your past, what is gone is gone, you can’t do a thing about it but…
Your present moment is completely in your Control.
People spend way too much time on thinking about past and future rather than using the present.
This world runs sec by sec.
So, don’t waste your present on past and use it to create your future.
The Present moment is all you got to do whatever you want to do, everything else is taken.
Karma is Real
I’m a believer of Karma from young age but during depression times, I became a True Believer of Karma.
So, what is Karma? let me tell you in simple language.
When You think, or do something negative, you get it back in same proportions.
In the same way, when you think, or do something positive, you start a chain which will give you positive results in the future.
Karma is a Rule of Nature.
Take one simple example, look at a life of any bad guy, you may see his/her money and the way he is living his/her life in a lavish manner but…
They don’t live for a long time, if they don’t stop their Crimes.
By doing negative things with others, you are doing negative things with yourself too.
And karma never discriminate, you do negative, you get negative; You do positive, you get positive.
It’s that simple.
No one is responsible for your circumstances, only “You” are.
Sometimes I think, “Why I had gone through depression 3 times?”
Is it my karma? or something else.
I don’t clearly know but one thing I truly know is that “If I had not faced depression, then I wouldn’t be spreading depression awareness today”
May be that is the reason. I don’t know? Some things remain a mystery forever.
Have some Hobbies
You could have heard the following quote many times:
Find Three Hobbies you love : One to make you money, one to keep you in shape, and one to be creative
It is shocking that many people don’t have even one hobby in this internet age, where information is available for free, you just have to Google it.
People are getting lazy and trapped in their daily routine so much, that they don’t have time to Discover new interests in life.
Without hobbies, it becomes more difficult to defeat depression as hobby is a activity you do out of interest.
When you perform your hobby, positive energy generate inside you.
Hobbies bring happiness in your life.
So, if you have no hobby, find one. There are infinite options available, but you have to give time to find your interests, passions, and hobbies.
Remember one thing for life: Be a Lifelong learner, never stop learning.
Stop Pleasing Others
This single activity of Pleasing Others is the biggest time waster of your life.
You are pleasing others to get something in return, means you expect something in return and I have already told you, how your expectations are one of the biggest sources of unhappiness.
So, stop pleasing others, stop licking other people asses and boots.
I clearly remember that during my college time, many of my classmates do things to impress a teacher and in return get a good grade.
They go to teachers’ cabins, and try their best to flatter them.
Sometimes, I also thought of going to my teacher and lick her ass but i just can’t do it.
It feels disgusting to me to go to a teacher and flatter him to get a good grade in return.
It’s not me. It’s not who I am. So, I have never done it, even though it really affect my grades but…
Fuck Grades, I have some ethics in life.
Whatever comes in my way, I take it with Smile – Kubra Sait
This life lesson is very easy to implement, you just have to smile more and more.
It takes less than a second to bring a smile on your face and it generates positive energy.
People ask me, “Kunal, I have no reason to smile” and…
I say, “Why do you need a reason to smile”
Smile because smile is good, it is positive, it is one of those rarest gems which requires close to no effort but its benefits have no limits.
The problem with people is that they need a reason to be happy, they need reason to be calm, they need reason to live.
I say, “Fuck all that,” be happy just for the sake of happiness, live just for the sake of life and…
Just Smile for the sake of smile.
Smile everyday for no apparent reason.