Awesome One…Many people go into depression due to their loneliness.
So, you are not alone and you don’t have to judge yourself.
Another thing you have to keep in mind is…Loneliness is not only the cause of depression but also one of its symptoms.
Most of the people facing depression feel lonely as depression disengages you from your life.
Awesome One…In this article, I’m going to tell you everything you need to get over your loneliness.
First, I will tell you “How Loneliness cause you depression?” so that you can understand your situation in a clear way.
After that, I will explain to you the techniques and methods, you can use- so that you don’t feel lonely anymore and…
Finally, I will take some important questions, that come inside many people’s mind and answer them- one by one.
So, do read the complete article, so that you don’t miss anything.
Now, without any further ado, Let’s Start:-)
How Loneliness Cause you Depression
When you don’t face your sense of loneliness in a positive way, many negative thoughts come inside your mind such as…
“Nobody loves me”, “Everyone’s life is good other than me”, and “No person likes to talk with me as I’m Dumb/Loser”
These negative thoughts will then give rise to negative feelings such as sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and emptiness.
If you start focusing on these negative thoughts and feelings, you can fell into a negativity loop.
Here is a figure of a Negativity Loop:
After this initial Phase, if you still don’t face your loneliness in a positive way and keep spending your daily life with this negativity loop…
You can go into depression in 10-30 days.
Now, let’s talk about the techniques and methods, you can use to get over your loneliness.
1. Why are you Feeling Lonely
The very first thing you need to find out is the reason that is making you feel lonely?”
Are you feeling as you have lost your loved one such as mother or father?
Are you feeling lonely as you have no friends in your life?
Are you feeling lonely as you have no Girlfriend/ Boyfriend?
Are you feeling lonely as your Husband/Wife Lives away from you?
Are you feeling lonely as you have gone through a Breakup/ Divorce?
Are you feeling loneliness as you have nothing to do in life?
Let’s talk about each of these options- one by one.
Loss of a Loved One
When you lose someone close to you, it is normal to feel negative but if you don’t move on from this loss in a positive way, then negativity can capture your mind.
Awesome One…By feeling sad and negative, your loved one will not come back.
What is gone is now gone; You have to accept this truth and move on in life.
Your gone loved one wants you to develop and grow in life. He or she doesn’t want you to spend your whole life- mourning over his or her death.
I know that it is very hard to move on after the death of your loved one but you have no other choice.
Either you can succumb to the negativity and destroy your life or you can move on in your life with positivity- along with the blessings and love of your loved ones; I want you to do the latter.
Nowadays, many people are feeling lonely because either they have no friends or even if they have friends- all of them are fake friends.
First of all, understand three key things about friendship:
1. In life, only real friends matter. It is better to stay alone than being surrounded by fake, negative, and toxic friends.
2. It’s not that difficult to make a friend but it takes time to make a real friend. You can make hundreds of friends but you will only make 2-4 real friends.
3. Friends come and go, no one will remain with you forever- only you will.
Keep these 3 points in mind and Now, let me tell you…
How to make a friend or more importantly a real friend?
To make a friend, just go outside your home, and talk with people.
Go to the gym, join an offline course, or talk with people in your workplace/college/school. If you talk with 10 people, some of them will become your friends- it is not that difficult.
This task of talking with people may be looking like a gigantic task to you as you are in depression but believe me, it is not that difficult or a huge task.
If you want to meet like-minded people, then join an offline course of your interest and talk with people in your course class.
On the other hand, to make a real friend; First, you have to become a real person yourself.
You can’t expect a real friendship from someone if you are yourself a fake person.
So, be real, be yourself, meet new people, make new friends and indulge in different phases of your life; Real friends will automatically enter in your life.
No Girlfriend/ Boyfriend
Some people feel lonely as they have no Girlfriend or Boyfriend.
Now again, first of all, I want to tell two very important things to such people
1. Don’t think that people who have GF/BF are very happy in life.
The person in a relationship thinks that a single person is living a more peaceful life and a single person thinks that a person having a BF/GF is living an awesome life.
The grass always looks greener on the other side but in reality, this is not true.
Remember, single life and life in a relationship- both have their pros and cons.
2. You may heart a phrase that “You are incomplete without a Boy/Girl”
As per me, this phrase is complete bullshit and this universe has sent you on this planet as a complete person. You need nobody to complete yourself.
Keep the above points in mind, and if you still want to experience life with a GF/BF, just go outside your home and talk with more and more girls/boys.
Talk with girls/boys in your school/college/workplace.
Join some kind of offline course, go to a club/pub and talk with girls/boys there.
If you are living in a metropolitan city, you can use apps such as tinder to find a girl for dating.
It is not that hard to make a girlfriend/boyfriend.
The secret is to talk with more and more girls/boys and don’t take any kind of pressure while talking with them- just talk in a natural and friendly way.
At last, if you are a shy person, then just talk with boys/girls with no expectation but just to get an initial experience.
Husband/ Wife Away from You
If your husband or wife is staying away from you due to some work obligations…and you are feeling lonely, then you can do three things to get over your loneliness:
1. Go to a place where your husband or wife is living and in the process, do a compromise with your own work obligations.
2. Get transferred to the place where your husband or wife is living.
3. Get over your dependencies on your husband or wife.
Awesome One…I want you to choose the third option as it is the best option for you- in the long run.
By going to your husband/wife by either comprising your work or getting a transfer is just a temporary solution as in the future, your husband/wife can again move to some other place due to work obligations.
Shifting yourself along with your husband/wife can seriously affect your work- unless you run an online business.
On the other side, if you choose and implement the third option, you not only get lots of freedom but also decrease your future probability of going into depression because…
So, stay in contact with your husband/wife via video calling but instead of feeling lonely as your husband or wife is away from you; break your dependency on your husband/wife.
Recently, I got a message from a girl who is in depression and experiencing a lot of loneliness.
Awesome One…Breakup is a part of the relationship and every relationship will not become successful.
Many relationships live for a short period of time, some for moderate, some for long, and very few for a lifetime.
So, take nothing as guaranteed. Anything can happen on any day.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife can leave you tomorrow, so it is very important that you create no hard bonds with your Gf/Bf/Husband/Wife.
Always keep one thing in mind…
“Have no expectations from anybody and never become so dependent on somebody that if he or she leaves you tomorrow, you feel devastated or Incomplete.“
If you are doing nothing in your life and spending your whole day in saying and thinking that “You are lonely,” then you are throwing yourself into the limbo of constant loneliness.
Awesome One…Life is Activity and when you stop doing any activity in your life- other than thinking in a negative way- you will find yourself in very uncomfortable places such as depression and loneliness.
So, start indulging in your life and keep yourself busy.
You have infinite things to do in your life: Reading, writing, watching positive content, working on hobbies, achieving life goals, running, meditating, traveling, learning, listening to music, taking part in social activities, talking with loved ones and so on.
Even if you have no hobbies and/or Life Goals, then create one today.
When you keep yourself busy in different activities throughout the day, you will hardly ever feel loneliness.
People feel loneliness- when left alone- as they do nothing with that alone time.
Instead, they start feeling negative, indulge in overthinking, and then experience more loneliness than before.
Awesome One… Alone time is a time when you have complete control over your time.
You have complete freedom to do anything you want to and there is nobody to disturb you.
So, instead of feeling lonely in your alone time, use this alone time to do something in life.
“Purpose of life is Usefulness and happiness is its by-product“
2. Become Your Own Best Friend
This is one of the best things that I have done with my life i.e. becoming my own best friend.
When you become your own best friend, your probability to feel lonely- when no one is around- becomes zero, as you enjoy your own company.
Moreover, it is helpful in fighting depression too, as sometimes, you find nobody to help you. In those cases, you have to become your own best friend and help yourself.
Awesome One…Your friends and loved ones will not remain with you forever.
You will spend, a major part of your life with yourself only.
“In your entire life, there would be only one person, who is going to remain with you forever and that person is YOU”.
Your loved ones will die one day, your friends will leave you someday, your Girlfriend/Boyfriend/ Wife/ Husband can leave you tomorrow and even your shadow leaves you when you are in darkness but…
As long as you are alive on this planet, only you would be there for yourself.
So, you have to become your own best friend.
Let me tell you some points, you can use to become your own best friend:
– If you want to do something- such as want to watch a movie, go to the zoo/restaurant/museum, etc-and nobody is ready to come with you, then go alone and enjoy your own company.
– Talk with yourself every day and become self-aware with the thoughts that are flowing inside your mind.
Give a place to positive thoughts and implement them. On the other hand, filter away the negative thoughts or convert them into positive thoughts.
– If no person is there to appreciate you on any occasion, appreciate yourself. If no one is around at your birthday party, give yourself a birthday party.
– If no person is loving you, love yourself.
– If nobody is taking care of you, take care of yourself.
– If no one is around to talk with you, then talk with yourself and understand yourself in a better way.
People may call you psycho if they saw you talking with oneself but don’t bother and keep talking to yourself- it is a positive habit.
3. Keep Your Real Life Separate From Social Media Life
In our modern World, A big factor which is contributing towards the increase in loneliness- and also depression- is our less importance to real-life bonds and more to social media or virtual bonds.
Social media is created to bring you closer to your loved ones, but the irony is, it is doing exactly the opposite.
People are busy with their phones – the whole day. They don’t have time to talk with their loved ones.
Even if four friends are sitting in one room, instead of interacting with each other, most of the friends would be busy on their phones.
People have so many social media friends but when they want to talk with someone, they have no single person in their life, with whom they can talk.
Awesome One…You need to use social media in the right way and give more value to real-life bonds.
Let me tell you some points, you can use to live a healthier social life:
– If you live with your loved ones-father, mother, sister, relative, friend, etc- or you live close to your loved ones, then spend some time with them every day.
– If your loved ones live away from you, then video call them every day and give them a visit- whenever you find the time.
– When you are sitting with your friends or loved ones, then interact with them instead of being busy on your phone.
– Use social media to make new friends, to connect with your old friends, to group study, to run an online business, to share good content, etc but don’t replace it with your real life.
– Don’t sit all day in your home; Go outside and talk with new people- face to face.
For Example: Go for a walk in a park and interact with someone or join a gym or offline course and talk with people.
This physical face to face interaction with people is very good for your mental health and can play a crucial part in your fight against depression.
If you are feeling very uncomfortable around new people-due to depression- then start interacting with known people and then make a shift.
So, keep the above points in mind and always keep your social media life and real-life- separate from each other.
Never mix them up and as per my recommendation- give more value to real-life connections than social media ones.
I had done a mistake of giving more value to social media connections than real-life connections and have paid the price.
I want you to learn from my mistakes rather than doing it again and again.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself
A human being has a tendency to compare oneself with other human beings- even with other animals or non-living things.
This single habit of comparing yourself with others is making your life more and more negative.
Let me give you three example:
1. You see someone in real life or in social media hanging out with lots of friends; You compare your life with that person and start feeling lonely.
2. You have just moved to a new company/college/school and you see a person who has a GF/BF; You compare your life with that person and then start feeling lonely.
3. You are sitting in your home-feeling happy-and then you open your social media app and see a photo of someone partying with his or her friends; You compare your life with that person and start experiencing loneliness.
This act of comparing yourself with others is one of the most negative habits( or I would say toxic habits) and you have to get rid of it- as soon as possible.
Remain Self-Aware and whenever you see that you comparing yourself, stop doing it.
“Don’t Compare Your life with others. There is no comparison between the Sun and the Moon. They shine when it’s their time.”
5. Have a Pet
While indulging in life and keeping yourself busy is the best way to fight loneliness but still…
If you feel very anxious- when left alone- or need some kind of physical appearance around you, having a baby pet is a good option.
Pet is not only helpful during the time of loneliness but can also play an essential role in your fight against depression.
Pets demand attention and they also give you unconditional love, which would definitely help you in not feeling lonely.
6. Don’t Judge Yourself
During depression or while feeling loneliness, our tendency to judge ourselves also increases.
You may say to yourself that “Nobody wants to be your friend as you are a loser” or “No person loves you as you are unloveable”
Awesome One…Depression will say to you many times a day that you are a loser and unloveable person but you have to stop listening to depression.
Depression and loneliness want you to judge yourself and destroy your life but Positive Kunal wants you never judge yourself, face loneliness in a positive way, defeat depression, and enjoy your life.
Meditation has so many benefits and it is also helpful in getting over your loneliness – especially spiritual loneliness.
It provides you a way to become more aware of the thoughts that are going through your mind.
Awesome One…Meditation helps you in connecting with your inner-self. It is beneficial in discovering and understanding yourself in a better way and…
When you understand yourself in a better way, you create a better relationship with yourself and as a result, feel less lonely.
Meditation is not only helpful to feel less loneliness but also to fight depression. So, start doing meditation in the right way.
If you find it helpful then add it to your daily routine and if it making your depression symptoms worse, then focus on other practical ways to defeat depression.
Try to do meditation in an open place and use apps such as headspace for meditation guidance.
8. You are never alone
This heading can raise some eyebrows but as per me, you are never alone.
Let me tell you! How?
You are with yourself, your energy is with you, the love of your loved ones is with you, the nature around you is always with you, the blessings of your gone loved ones are with you, this mighty universe is with you, your thoughts are with you, your human body is with you, and so on.
No matter where you are, these above things never leave you.
So, in this sense, you are never alone.
The problem is, people attach loneliness with people around them.
If people are around them, they don’t feel lonely and when people are not around them, they start feeling lonely but…
In reality, loneliness is just a feeling and it is not only dependant on people around you.
You can feel lonely even when people are around you and you can experience serenity-not loneliness(I’m using serenity as there no proper opposite of loneliness)-when no one is around you.
So, this feeling of loneliness depends on many things not just people around you.
If your philosophy of life is right, you will never feel lonely.
Now, let’s take some important questions that come inside many people’s mind and answer them one by one.
Are there any types of loneliness?
Yes, there are many types of loneliness and for simplicity, let me divide them into 3 simple types which are…
Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Loneliness.
You can get over each of the types by implementing the points, I have explained to you above.
How to overcome depression?
Awesome One…Getting over loneliness is just a one-step in your fight against depression.
You need to follow my 3-Step Kunu Method, implement practical ways, and learn so many other important things.
For Step-to-Step Guidance to overcome depression, you can download my eBook in just $19 (₹990).
Remember, depression is the Number one cause of suicide and you have to get out of it as soon as possible.
Can loneliness be cured by a Medicine?
Some people take medicines or wear special rings to get over their loneliness but it is all bogus.
Loneliness is not a disease that you can cure, it is a feeling which you feel at certain points in your life and as I have said to you before if your philosophy of life is right, you will hardly ever experience loneliness or feel lonely.
What if I like being a loner?
There are some people who intentionally stay alone and avoid any kind of human interaction and most people call such human beings- a loner.
While staying alone, becoming your best friend, and enjoying your own company is a healthy habit; completely avoiding any kind of social interaction is not a positive habit- it is a detrimental habit.
Remember, the human being is a social animal and for your happiness, sanity, and good mental health, it is important that you interact with other human beings and built some meaningful relationships.
To get over your loneliness, find your reason behind loneliness and face it in a positive way.
Become your own best friend, give value to real-life bonds, stop comparing yourself, get a baby pet(if necessary), don’t judge yourself, and start doing meditation.